Monday 9 December 2013

Guest Blog: Mervyn Bowden – "And the Christmas Energy Awards go to…"

Guest Blog: Mervyn Bowden – "And the Christmas Energy Awards go to…"

Everyone at this festive time of the year seems to be handing out awards like confetti so I thought I’d add a few personal ones of my own. This has been an intriguing year for energy with much of the press coverage having a negative slant - so a slightly more humorous angle surely won’t go amiss...

(By the way, there’s no limit to the number of awards which can be won by any one candidate!)

Hearty congratulations must go to all of this year’s winners.

Village Idiot of the Year

Has to be the faceless bureaucrat in Brussels who came up with the protectionist notion of applying a levy to photo-voltaic panels made in China.

Pointless Scheme of the Year

The Energy Savings Opportunities Scheme (ESOS), probably crafted by the winner of the above but whatever - they also managed to remain anonymous so will be unable to collect the award in person.

Optimist of the Year

Ed Davey for thinking the much debated Energy Bill might at some future point get through Parliament and be taken seriously.

Cynic of the Year

The Daily Mail’s David Rose for ever believing there would be acceptance of an argument against the sacred cows of climate change and Government statistics.

The Hope for the Future Award

Goes to Chris Huhne for giving hope to all criminals by demonstrating that lying and perverting the course of justice are suitable qualities for employment in the business community.

Pointless Scheme of the Year (part 2)

Sorry, I know we’ve had one of these already, but the Green Deal just had to win it on an equal basis to ESOS. More chance of finding Shergar than the average household falling for this one. Sponsored by Lord Lucan.

Pointless Process of the Year

Government consultations which are subsequently completely ignored.

Village Idiot of the Year

Yes, I know……but surely Ed “The Freezer” Miliband has to get this for his immense contribution to keeping down the cost of living when, at a stroke, he guaranteed energy prices rising for everyone. A masterstroke!

Biggest Losers of the Year

All of us – see above

“Greatest Disincentive to Invest” Award

I guess this also has to go to Ed “The Freezer” for causing such immense and instant uncertainty in the investment community who were clearly impressed by his chances of winning the next election and the policies he would propose.

Greatest Transformation of the Year

Has to go to nuclear power, once considered a complete environmental pariah it is now seen as a low carbon energy source and is even being encouraged by its greatest prior opponents the Lib Dems.

Greatest Transformation of the Year

Shale gas economics – from the great hope for the future to no hoper

Vanishing Act of the Year

Whatever happened to “carbon”?

Mantra of the Year

Vertical integration

Diabolically Racist Comment of the Year

Our own PM, David Cameron, for his outrageous attributed comment about those in the malicious immigrant community (of Canada Geese) who take all the benefits the UK has to offer, a mild winter climate, plenty of luscious grass to eat….and their sole contribution in return is all that “green c**p”, or did I mishear him?

Genuine Award of the Year

Has to go to Energy Live News for their refreshing approach (they don’t pay me, honestly guv) to awards – their awards evening back in June was one of highlights of the year – and to conferences – Energy Live 2013 was a brave and innovative success in making energy more interesting and engaging all the important people in the industry, something the Government may wish to think about.

A very Happy Christmas (if we’re still allowed to say that) to all our readers!

Energy saving expert Mervyn Bowden is the Managing Director of Intuitive Energy Solutions.

Written by

Bruna Pinhoni

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